2.5 Weeks

So for two and a half weeks, I've been sleeping sitting up, holding this baby. I still like her! She can get a little fussy but so far she is pretty easily calmed down. She was fussy this morning, which was too bad as yesterday she was so sleepy and wonderful, but I put on the Sleepy Wrap and did a workout and she was out in minutes. Veronica used to go THREE MILES and still scream through the whole thing, but she may have been older. Once again, I have to acknowledge how lucky I am to be able to exercise so quickly after having MAJOR ABDOMINAL SURGERY, as everyone likes to call it. God knows I acknowledge my bad luck, I want to remember to acknowledge my good luck too and I am sincerely grateful that I have been able to get around so well from the beginning. Mike has been setting his alarm and coming downstairs at 6:00 so I can lie down on the couch for a while and I'm grateful for that too.

I posted this picture on Facebook and someone said I looked thin but I am not! I would never put up a picture of MYSELF where I looked all fat and sloppy and exhausted, I mean, who would? Not me, believe it or not, I am still kind of vain. I have to start moving again, Old Girl is waking and I don't want her to! But she is doing fine, she is nursing really well and sleeping pretty well and she is GORGEOUS and maybe I am shallow but it helps! Ha!

One week and one day

We've been home for one week and one day and it's been ... not that awful. When I think about everyone else's babyhood compared to Anthony's, they are all easier. It is a good argument, to me, for having more than one child, that it's been so much easier with subsequent babies compared to that first time. When I think about Anthony being a baby and just having NO idea what was going on, ugh, it was ROUGH. This is rough too, she never lays down on her own, I have been in the chair for over a week, etc., etc., it's just ... easier when you have done it before. Maybe everyone should have to be a night time nanny for one year before they have a baby of their own. Like how in Israel you have to be in the army, no matter what? Or like my friend Tim always says that in order to be allowed to eat in restaurants you should have to have waited tables for a year? Anyway. It's easier but still hard. I'm still tired. She is nursing very well, she has started to pee in earnest, which is good. I took her for her one week checkup this week and she was 9 lbs., 2 oz., so down 7 from birth but they are only supposed to be back at birth weight by two weeks, so hopefully we'll be there. We have to go back to the doctor on ... I can't remember, Monday or Tuesday. She is a little fussy right now, Mike is rocking her. She has her moments of fussy but they don't last too long yet. I can't help but to be hopeful that she won't be the monsters that the other ones were, but I know in order to protect myself that I should just expect it. I am trying to be nice and calm but it's not always working. It's hard to be so tired and not feel like St. Joanne, Martyr of the World.

Day Four

We were waiting to be given the go ahead to get out of the hospital. It actually went really well yesterday, very smoothly. She had a good first night and we had a crazy-ass first morning. I'm sure we'll get it together here soon. We better!

Maria Visits

I have such a love/hate for this picture. I was so tired and it was such a crazy morning. I wanted to look as normal as possible for Maria, my friend Carrie recommended that for when I HAD Maria, but everyone and their BROTHER came by my room in the 30 minutes before Mike and Maria got there. She was beyond sweet - she was nervous and funny about seeing me. She was doing that thing where she turns and shrugs her shoulders a little bit, and she was shy with me, which is so weird. But she loved the baby and she was really, really good. Then she said to Mike, "I'm ready to go!" and they did. I can't get over her smile in this picture, I wonder if I'll ever be able to look at it without crying a little. This particular time in my life is probably not the best time to judge that, ha!

Day 2

She hardly ever laid down in this bassinet but she is doing better here at home. She's lying in the bouncy seat right now! It won't last so that's all I'll say about this picture, except that she is really red in this one and she is all cleared up now.

First Night

That hat would NOT stay on her head, they never do, these poor big headed babies of mine. All the nights were the same, she nursed and slept and at some point I begged the nurse to take her to the nursery for a while so I could sleep. The first night, for me, was the roughest, since I was itching and sweating and generally wanting to take a shower, which I couldn't. The thing about having a c-section, though, and maybe just a baby, is that it gets better every day. This is just temporary, Mike kept telling me, and as usual, he was right!

Felicity Rose

I just got home today, and I don't have any pictures yet - I mean, I have pictures but not retrievable.  Anyways, Felicity Rose Beck was born at 9:58 a.m. on Monday, October 10.  She was nine pounds and nine ounces and 22 inches long.  She is doing fine, we had kind of a rough delivery and a rough few first days, but we are home and happy.  She is well loved by her sisters, that's for sure, and even Anthony paused for a few seconds to give her a look.  She is so sweet and she has cheeks for days!  I'll put up more pictures and stuff tomorrow but I keep meaning to post here and I haven't.  So here's the news!

Tomorrow

Well, it's tomorrow.  It's less than 12 hours from now!  Today I broke my tooth clean off and had to go to an emergency dentist, not once but TWICE.  Hopefully it's all fixed now and if it's not, I don't care because I can't eat again until God knows when anyway.  I am praying tonight for a healthy baby, I don't care about the sex or the name or the delivery or ANYTHING.  Please, please, let us have a healthy baby, I keep thinking.  And also, as extra prayers, I pray that my other little kids love the little baby too.  Today Maria said she wants a girl and that we should name her Carissa!  Carissa!  Where in God's name did she ever hear that?  Sheesh!

Tropical Heat Wave

OMG this heat.  This HEAT!  This heaaaaaaat!  It was a high of 80 something degrees today.  So sunshiney and hot.  HOT.  I'm hot anyway, I can't sleep with covers when it's 50 overnight AND the windows are open AND the fan is on!  HOT!

It's hot, is what I'm saying.  And it's making me miserable, because a) it's hot and b) I feel so stupid, because I was all, "I'm having an OCTOBER baby!  A FALL baby!".  I pictured leggings and sweaters.  Today I had to go get Anthony in the Jeep, which has no AC and we got stuck in terrible traffic and when I got home, I had to change my bra and shirt because they were both soaking wet.  LOVELY.

BUT tomorrow my friend Chrissy is having her baby and Monday I am having the Super Baby and I.  Can't.  Wait.  I got to this point with the others too, I especially remember with Veronica.  I'm so excited and optimistic I barely recognize myself.  I just can't wait to see this baby, to see those perfect ears.  I can't wait.  I'm so excited!

One Week

Tomorrow is the last Monday, God willing, where I'll have just three kids.  To say that I'm impatient is the understatement of all time.  Two women I know who were due AFTER me have had their babies, I saw on Facebook, and I am happy for them, SO happy, I am also so jealous and small about it.  When can I have MY baby, I want to know.  It's just because I'm sick, I know it.  I wouldn't normally be such a jerk about it, but this has been a very challenging few weeks.  Anyway, I told my sister today, I'm going to try to enjoy this week, to 'enjoy each day', as my sweet grandmother would say.  I'm going to try to get everything ready and just enjoy the time I have with my three and anticipate the fourth.  And then I'm never, ever doing this again, ha!