Wednesday, June 7, 2017


The other night, I saw someone I follow on Twitter say how one of the reasons her husband uses for them to be "all done" with children is because they will be 49 when their oldest finishes high school.  It is so depressing when I think that I will be on the FAR SIDE of 49 when Felicity enters Kindergarten.  Now, she is my youngest and she will turn six shortly after she starts Kindergarten, but mostly it's the same thing.  I was 43 when I had her, some people are 33, if they are GETTING OLD when they have a child, more people are closer to 23, which is TWENTY YEARS younger than I was.  What was I thinking?

Today I was mowing the lawn and thinking about how bad my eyesight is.  I mean, it's just regular bad reading eyesight, but I remember CLEARLY when my mom's eyes started going bad and I was an adult.  I may have been in college! I don't know what I'm going to do.  The thing to do is to take better care of myself but I always think of this when I'm so sick, I can't do anything.  I have such a bad cold and I am paranoid it's going to turn into pneumonia or bronchitis.  Then I start thinking, what am I going to do when I am ten years older?

Sometimes, people say, they are over it.  They are done, they are MOMMED OUT.  Honestly, I was mommed out before Anthony was six months old! I feel unaware that it's an option, to just be mommed out, to be sick of it and that's a reason to not have more kids?  I'm happy about all the kids I have, Veronica is the nicest and it took until I had THREE to get to that one, ha!

I don't know.   I just hope I can be around and not humiliate these kids, or have their friends ask why their grandmother is picking them up from school when they are in sixth grade or something.  Ugh.

Friday, February 24, 2017


Things are clipping right along for old Fifi.  She knows how to spell her name and she doesn't believe it, but that means she can spell the word 'city' too.  She is happy and healthy and doing just great.  She is sleepy in the mornings before school but she takes a nap and then stays up late and then is tired and repeat repeat repeat.  Next year she won't take a nap so maybe it will get better.  Anthony isn't giving her nearly as hard a time lately, so that's good.  She is going to a birthday party at a girl from school's pool this weekend, and I think she'll like it, despite the fact that swim lessons are still a giant fail.  Last week at the very end of her lesson, her teacher dunked her completely underwater and she did great.  So who knows?  Here are some pictures!

Friday, October 21, 2016


Felicity is doing fine, she is still waking up in the night and coming in to me but what can you do?  It could be worse.  On her birthday, my friend and her godmother Marta took her after school and she went back to her house, they did a craft and made cookies and since then Felicity has had a taste of no aftercare and she doesn't want to go anymore! She also doesn't want to go with me and get Anthony so it's a trial.  I figure if I let her stay in with me a few hours a few nights a week, maybe it is all even steven, right?

Her birthday party was super fun, even though I got shingles the day before and I was DYING from the pain.  I plan to mention this 1000 times over the course of Felicity's life, ha!  She got a lot of great toys and gifts and had a lot of fun with her friends, including her very serious boyfriend Miles, who she goes to school with and who she loves.  We love him too, he is so cute.

I had her conference at school, she is doing okay.  Concerns include the way she holds a pen and her inability to let things go or not think that she is being personally attacked when things just don't go her way.  In the beginning of the year, she had some problems  with her friend Charlotte.  Over the summer, Charlotte and our other friend Rebecca and Felicity were playing together but sometimes, as is wont to happen with three little girls, Charlotte and Rebecca would be mean to Felicity.  It drove me bananas and there is so little you can do - I ended up spending a LOT of time playing with Felicity, just the two of us, which I didn't love but I imagine I will appreciate someday.  Anyway, Charlotte's mom and I are friends so we have been talking about it and they have been playing together in a nicer way and all is well, except that sometimes now when Charlotte is just normal with Felicity, Felicity thinks she is being mean to her. She has a persecution complex, I guess  is what I am saying, ha!

I know that I have contributed to Felicity being a jerk sometimes.  I say "give it to her!" 100 times a day because I can't take it, I can't take her crying because Maria rips something from her hands and then having Anthony scream and rush at her and knock her down.  So, here we are.  MOSTLY she is very good in school and lord knows she can amuse herself, which is a great quality.  She is also super bright and such a funny and wonderful talker.  Last week I was calling Mike from the car and I was running late, I said "I have to call Daddy, he is going to think I'm insane" because I was out doing stuff at the time I should have been going to work.  Felicity said, "is he right, Mommy?".  Ha!

Here's a picture of her holding that pen (the wrong way, according to her teacher) and decorating a pumpkin that we got at the pumpkin patch last Sunday.

Saturday, September 10, 2016

Post Labor Day Post

Felicity has been in Transitional Kindergarten (TK) for four weeks and it's all going great, for the most part.  She doesn't always love her long days but we are mostly successful.  

Felicity didn't learn to swim this summer but she did get much, much better at being in the water. Last summer she would walk around in two feet (swimming in Chinese) but she would never be where her feet didn't touch the bottom, and she wouldn't even be held if her feet couldn't touch the bottom. This summer we went all over the pool but she was not content to be alone, so we spent a lot of time together. She liked to do this thing where we would mush up against each other and she'd yell, Falling in love! Then I'd push her away and she'd cry, falling out of love. She could do it over and over and OVER, seemingly never getting sick of it, or me.
She likes to sleep with us, because she doesn't want to be alone, she says. We point out she is not alone and in fact she shares a room with TWO people. She wants to sleep with a GROWNUP, she corrects herself. I'd say more than half the week she comes into our bed.
She is doing so well in school, this morning she told me, I want you to drive away now, before I could even walk her in to school. There is a little boy at the school where I teach who goes in EVERY DAY, screaming and yelling. Every day he has to be physically removed from his mother and then he screams and cries for hours. He's been in school for a month! I find myself so grateful that Felicity doesn't behave like that that I don't care if she can't swim or that she likes to sleep with a grownup, namely me. I think this might be the secret of happiness, just lowering and lowering expectations until they don't even exist anymore.

Thursday, August 4, 2016


We have been to the pool so much this summer!  Too much, in my opinion, but what do I know?  I'm just an easily burned old lady.  Last Wednesday we tried to go to the pool at the JCC but the kids' pool was closed, which leaves practically no point to go, because then everyone goes to the deeper pool and we all stand around floating and it's like after the Titanic sank but not as cold.  So we went to a city park pool and I got the sunburn of my LIFE.  It's eight days later and it's just now getting better.  Anyway, my point is we went Wednesday and I got burned and then we went Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday, oy! Thank God I'm back to work so I'm spared this week.  

I wanted to record that Felicity says that her fingers are getting "scribbly" when she means water logged.  It's super cute.  She will stay in the pool forever, but she's not above getting out and wrapping up in a towel to warm up for a while.  She is no kind of swimmer, still, but I think I will take her for lessons this winter and get her ready for next year.  She is so much better in the water this year than she was last year, willing to get her face wet, willing to let me take her where her feet can't touch the bottom.  I think she'll be fine.  Scribbly.  Ha!

Wednesday, June 8, 2016

Felicity in June

Felicity is having a good summer so far, although she is up in the night a lot and it's super annoying.  I asked her the other morning how old she'd have to be to stop coming in and bugging me in the night and she held up EIGHT fingers, lord help me.  Mostly she's fine though, she is struggling a little bit to run with the big dog sisters of hers, but what can you do?  I try to get them to bed at a decent hour, what else is there?  I try to feed her healthy food, make sure she gets enough to drink but she is still mad 30 percent of the time.  Oh well!  Here's some cute pictures.

Monday, May 23, 2016

More May

Two posts in one month! We spend the most unfettered time together, I think, so we have more pictures of Felicity.  She is doing fine, she finished preschool on Thursday and was home with me on Friday, we went to her preschool picnic.  Today Mike is working from home and he has her.  He said she is leaving him alone and letting him work, so that's good!  Tomorrow and Wednesday I'm off and Wednesday is my last day of school so it will be me with Felicity all summer now!  Next year she'll start TK, or Transitional Kindergarten, since she won't be five until October.  She had a great year at preschool.  She is still impossible, She drives me bananas on a daily basis, but she also makes me crazy with happiness and pride.  Her life is not like any of my other kids, Anthony pushes her down whenever he has a chance, no one ever does what she wants, etc., etc., boo hoo, it can be hard to be her, but she really does stay pretty cheery.

She is going crazy with these Baby Alive dolls that she wants, she asks several times a day every day.  A few weeks ago I got her a Baby Alive Bath doll, just on a whim.  I had some money from a survey I took or something and I got it for her.  She immediately started bugging me and everyone for a Baby Boo Boo doll.  Mike said to her one night, Mommy just got you a doll this week! Don't you think two dolls in one week is a lot.  She said, furious, two is not a big number.  One hundred is a big number.  Ha, she kills me.