Wednesday, June 7, 2017


The other night, I saw someone I follow on Twitter say how one of the reasons her husband uses for them to be "all done" with children is because they will be 49 when their oldest finishes high school.  It is so depressing when I think that I will be on the FAR SIDE of 49 when Felicity enters Kindergarten.  Now, she is my youngest and she will turn six shortly after she starts Kindergarten, but mostly it's the same thing.  I was 43 when I had her, some people are 33, if they are GETTING OLD when they have a child, more people are closer to 23, which is TWENTY YEARS younger than I was.  What was I thinking?

Today I was mowing the lawn and thinking about how bad my eyesight is.  I mean, it's just regular bad reading eyesight, but I remember CLEARLY when my mom's eyes started going bad and I was an adult.  I may have been in college! I don't know what I'm going to do.  The thing to do is to take better care of myself but I always think of this when I'm so sick, I can't do anything.  I have such a bad cold and I am paranoid it's going to turn into pneumonia or bronchitis.  Then I start thinking, what am I going to do when I am ten years older?

Sometimes, people say, they are over it.  They are done, they are MOMMED OUT.  Honestly, I was mommed out before Anthony was six months old! I feel unaware that it's an option, to just be mommed out, to be sick of it and that's a reason to not have more kids?  I'm happy about all the kids I have, Veronica is the nicest and it took until I had THREE to get to that one, ha!

I don't know.   I just hope I can be around and not humiliate these kids, or have their friends ask why their grandmother is picking them up from school when they are in sixth grade or something.  Ugh.

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