One Month

One month old already! We are having a disappointing week around here. I took Felicity to the doctor for her four week checkup and she had lost three ounces, down to 9 lbs., 2 oz., from 9 lbs., 5 oz. You could have knocked me over with a FEATHER, I was so shocked. The nurse weighed her THREE TIMES! She was extremely fussy while I was there and everyone (medical student, nurse, doctor), I felt, was looking at me like I was a loser or something for not knowing her weight would be down, that she was HUNGRY, but seriously, they are all fussy like that! None of them have ever lost weight!

I've been pretty sick, though. I went to the med check on Friday and it turns out I have bronchitis and a sinus infection. I have started on antibiotics and I am hopeful that it will clear up soon. Meanwhile I have been having awful, horrible pain. I woke up Friday morning and my jaw ached so badly I figured I had broken it in the night. My head hurts all the time and every time I cough I feel like the back of my head is coming off. The ends of my hair hurt. I have never felt like this before, and when I combine it with either Felicity screaming in my ear or Anthony having a breakdown and screaming, it's ... unpleasant.

Yesterday and today, though, I am seeing flashes of a human baby in Felicity. It's like God himself is giving these flashes to me, because I am getting VERY down about how badly she is nursing. I am supplementing with formula and trying to get my supply back up and I have two weeks to get it straightened out and in the meantime I think it's not going that great and I'm afraid I'm going to irreperably damage my supply and have to go to all formula, which is just not in my plan. It's expensive, it's a pain, and I don't want to do it. So I'm sad about it but really, it's selifsh - all I care about is that we get some calories into her and get her weight up. And maybe she'll stop screaming and fussing and wouldn't that be nice. We'll see, in the mean time wish us luck!