Magical Age

This is the worst age.  I mean, I don't even know what the worst age is but this one is pretty bad.  Felicity is 15.5 months and the climbing!  The teething!  The not great sleeping!  The SHRIEKING.  OH LORD THE SHRIEKING.  Just today I feel like it's started in earnest - like before she was shrieking sometimes, in the way that babies do when they are just discovering their voices, but now, today, she is shrieking in a very demanding and very LOUD way.  It's 8:29 and I put her to bed at around 7:40 and my ears are still kind of ringing.

I was telling her tonight when I was rocking her, I'm sorry.  I mean it, I am really sorry.  I am MUCH more wrung out by her than I was with the others.  I'm older, there are so many more of them, it's just - I am awful with her, sometimes.  We're having some work done on the kitchen so Felicity and I have had to be out of the house for the last two days and it has been ROUGH.  I feel like I've taken her in and out of that car seat 200 times in the last two days.

I took the girls out to lunch today and she was hungry, starving, like a crazy person.  I couldn't SHOVEL that applesauce in her face fast enough to stop her from screaming.  We are in public!, I kept telling her!  CUT IT OUT!

She is hilarious and adorable and also she is driving me crazy.  By the end of the day, I am so sick of her and then she is VERY cute, which helps.  She is cute in the bath and cute when I put lotion on her. Mmmmmmm, she says, which is just adorable.  She was jamming her bottle in my mouth tonight - it just has water in it, she doesn't get milk bottles anymore, which is another thing that is making her mad.  Anyways, she was jamming the bottle in my mouth, offering it to me and I said "mmmmm thank you!" and she was laughing in this super cute, barely amused way.  She kills me and she also kills me.  And she is probably killing me.  Ha!

Waaaah!  

Bottle

Ugh, Felicity is still taking a bottle!  I know she shouldn't, I guess.  I mean, I don't really know anything, I don't care.  Maria only took a bottle at the end, and never well, and Veronica was awful with the sippy cup for months and never took a bottle.  Anthony took a bottle and at 15 months, I just switched him over to a sippy cup and all was well.  But I am at a loss with Felicity.

I really don't care, I have some vague notion of getting her off the bottles by about 15 or 16 months.  She doesn't take any more formula, she takes a bottle of milk before bed and one before her nap because she is so in the habit of drinking and then going to sleep.  Normally I would tsk tsk about it, but she has a crappy life, nap and sleep wise, and she almost always has.  There are all these other people around who don't give a HOOT if she sleeps, so I try to make it work as well as I can.

Lately she has been finishing her bottle and then going to sleep.  Like today at TWO (late!) I was putting her down, I gave her a bottle and she popped up and started babbling away and I said okay go to sleep, and lay her down and she cried on and off for about 15 or 20 minutes but then napped.  So I figure soon, I'll just bring up a sippy cup and do that and then soon after that I'll start doing that at night.  We'll see.  I'm sure it will all work out, ha ha ha sure it will.

She is doing just great, she's so cute.  She babbles away, she says "Daddy!" and "Hiiiii!" and "Baby!".  I told Laura, today our friend Fillipo stepped on her hand and she said, all accusingly and through tears, "Baby!  BABY!", while shoving her hand in my face, as if to say "I am only a baby!  How dare he hurt me in this way?".  That's what I got out of it anyway.  I have to take her for her 15 month checkup here soon, I suppose.  More shots, probably, ugh.

Oh this was funny.  I have this friend who posted on Facebook that she thought it was bs that toddlers had the ability to climb so high before they had the fear that they would fall.  She said if you need me, I'll just be sitting here with my eyes glued to my son.  So I commented and said I felt for her, I thought it was crazy that they were designed to fall from their height but not their height PLUS four feet!  Some jackass friend of hers posted this CRAZY thing about - I want to copy it but I shouldn't.  But he said that children are meant to be free and try things and if you put them in a rocker seat, a stroller, a jumper, an exersaucer, and something else, it meant they would have a developmental problem or be ruined in some other way.  WTH?  What the hell?  What are you supposed to do with a fool who is 14 months old and would walk into traffic if you let them?  You can't put them in a stroller or it will give them developmental disorders?  People are insane.  INSANE.

Year End Meme

1. What did you do in 2012 that you’d never done before?
Turned three.  Became toilet trained.  Was a big sister for a whole year.  Entered the three's class at preschool.  

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?


No.  and No.  

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?



I guess not.  

4. Did anyone close to you die?



No, thank God.  

5. What countries did you visit?



We stayed in the country but Veronica did go to NJ with me in September. 

6. What would you like to have in 2013 that you lacked in 2012?

Veronica is doing just great.  I hope she has a few more letters she can pronounce in 2013.  

7. What dates from 2012 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

I guess none, she started school on August 27.  She turned three on May 14.  

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?



Veronica has really come into her own, she finished speech therapy this year.  She is so funny and sweet.  She is a great big sister and a very patient and kind little sister.  

9. What was your biggest failure?

None.  She gets her feelings hurt very easily and cries for five minutes if she even senses disapproval but what can you do.  

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

She had one ear infection, her only one.  She had some colds and some random fevers.  

11. What was the best thing you bought?

Veronica really likes these Hello Kitty shoes we bought.  And also her Hello Kitty underwear.  

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

Veronica's, of course.  She is a happy and sweet person and she is the best sharer you could ever want to meet.  

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?



To be fair, I should say Veronica's.  She sometimes gets very upset for no reason and just yells in your ear forever, or what feels like forever.  

14. Where did most of your money go?

Preschool, ice cream.  

15. What did you get really excited about?

Veronica loves school and she loves Maria.  

16. What song will always remind you of 2012?

I have to say Call me Maybe for all the kids, but Veronica sang it too.  

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:


– happier or sadder? Happier.
– thinner or fatter? Fatter, heavier, but really just growing.


– richer or poorer? Richer, I guess.  

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?



Sleeping.  

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

  

Yelling.  

20. How did you spend Christmas?


We were here, for the first time with all my siblings and my mom.  

21. Did you fall in love in 2012?
I guess not.  She loves Felicity a lot.  

22. What was your favorite TV program?


She loves Max & Ruby.  

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?


No.

24. What was the best book you read?
They just started reading Ramona.  

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?

She loves Call Me Maybe.  

26. What did you want and get?
She wanted a unicorn dreamlight for Christmas and she got one.  She loves it.  

27. What did you want and not get?
I don't know.  She wanted a pretend kitty and didn't get one.  

28. What was your favorite film of this year?
Madagascar III is the only movie she saw in the theater this year.  

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
She turned three in May and we had a party and a Tinkerbell cake and she had a fine old time, she was super sweet.   

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
She is still a little shy.  We had to leave a little birthday party this year because she was so nervous.  She has a lot of sensory issues, and she has to get her air out, i.e. lean on the damned table like she does, a lot here lately.  I hope she grows out of it.  

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2012?
Veronica, like Maria,  likes dresses and no jeans.  NO JEANS.  

32. What kept you sane?


Preschool.  Ballet.   

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
I don't know.  Yo Gabba Gabba?    

34. What political issue stirred you the most?


NONE.  

35. Who did you miss?


I think she misses us when she's in school.  She misses her friend Brooke, who is in the Young Threes class.  

36. Who was the best new person you met?


Maybe Pearl?  Rosie?  Sylvie?  New friends from school.  

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2012.


Veronica may have thought she was a little sister, but she has been a great big sister this whole time.  

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.


Ha, here is a song Veronica sings over and over.  Pa da na na, Pa da na na, ra na na na na na na na na na pa na na na.  It's a V. Orginal.    

Old

Today I was reading Twitter and some women were talking about how if they were younger when they started, maybe they'd have more.  One woman said that she wasn't YOUNG when she started, and she still had four.  That woman?  Was 27.  TEN YEARS YOUNGER than I was when I had Anthony.  Sometimes it is so hard to be so damned old and have all these kids, but not in the way that you'd think.  I mean, I am 44, so I am not, like, infirm or anything.  I am probably grumpier and more impatient than if I were 34 or 24 or whatever, but nothing makes me feel old like people talking about how they were kind of old when the age to which they are referring is like TEN years younger than the age I was when I started this mess.

Sometimes I think what am I doing?  How can I have a little baby and be this old?  I am trying to be younger, I am trying to sleep enough and exercise enough and eat well but man.  I am also OLD and SET IN MY WAYS.  So anyways, I'm sorry, Felicity, if your mother is so old.  I'm sorry that people will probably be like 'how nice that Felicity's grandmother brings her to school' when she is in Kindergarten.  Maybe (I'm hatching a plan here) I'll just start saying I'm her grandmother.  Then at least I'll seem YOUNG for my STATION!

Halloween

Felicity has had a busy few weeks.  She's had a cold, a sinus infection, a visit to her pediatric ENT, another cold, and her first real Halloween!  She was only three weeks old last year for Halloween, I think it's safe to say she enjoyed it more this year.  It was so warm and beautiful last year and this year it was kind of cold but I don't dare complain about it because for the second Halloween in a row, my NJ friends and family's kids couldn't go trick or treating on Halloween.  Last year, they had terrible snow and this year, of course, they have such problems from that storm I can't stand it.  Anyway.

I was afraid Felicity had an ear infection, she had a cold and runny nose for TWO weeks and it just seemed to get worse, so I took her in on Monday and he said she had a sinus infection and that her ear tube looked funny, so Tuesday I took her to see her (gorgeous) pediatric ENT but he said her tubes were fine, so that was good!  She has been sleeping badly and has been grumpy but overall she is plucky as hell, which I appreciate.

She was an elephant for Halloween, she was so cute.  She didn't love trick or treating, I probably shouldn't have taken her but I wanted to get her out in the air.  It's hard for her, and will be, I imagine, she gets drug along all these places and it's never about her.  But she's cute and sweet and that will get us all a long way, I bet.  Here's some pictures, of her on Halloween and through the fall.

Picture

I want to post more often so I downloaded a picture but now I can't remember what it's like and I have no time to look so it will be a surprise for everyone!

Felicity is fine, she has a cold and runny nose which is a DRAG because at this age, they can't even, like, sniffle so I have to wipe her nose a lot.  She hates it.  She's had a few night time wake ups recently and I hope that's why but last night she slept all night until 7:00 this morning so that's really great.

She doesn't like to go to sleep, or nap, any more than any of the rest of them, which is just my destiny I guess.  I guess I am supposed to spend years of my life fretting and worrying and trying to do everything right and failing miserably every day.  But that's not all!  I can feel terrible about it AND look like hell at the same time!  Motherhood!  It's not just a job, it's an adventure!  IN TORTURE!

EDITING TO SAY that I took this picture yesterday, first of all she is in an outfit from Mike's mom that she gave her for her birthday and it's adorable, so cute.  It's grey and green which happens to be an excellent color combination.  Second of all, she handed me that sock yesterday about 50 times and I'd kiss it and hand it back, saying thank you and then SHE would do it.  It's hilarious.

Birth Story

Here's Felicity's birth story, I wrote it right after she was born when it was all fresh in my mind:

So.  Same as with Veronica, I went to my parents' house in the early morning, I was supposed to be there around 7:00 so I wanted to get up around 6 but of course I woke up at 4:21 and there was no going back to sleep.  I stopped by Dunkin Donuts to get coffee and the guy there asked me if I was having a boy or a girl and I said, I don't know but I'll find out later this morning.  And then he seemed REALLY nervous, like I was going to have the baby right there!  Ha!  I got my Dad and he dropped me off.  I talked for a LONG time with the check in girl.  She is Catholic too and she goes to St. Joan of Arc, we talked about the priest, and her bible study, it was interesting.  The two nurses assigned to me came in and I got in my robe and got the monitors on, I was having contractions, which I knew because I could feel them for the previous two days.  One nurse was new and one nurse had been doing it for 30 years and there was some tension there.  The new nurse was very nice but my LORD, she was practicing and practicing on me.  The IV lock thing took a while, it was all kind of a pain.  

The anesthesiologist came in and he was charming - I have never met one who wasn't, actually.  We talked about morphine and itching and blah blah blah.  Dr. Bolin came in and we were off.  I walked to the OR, which I had forgotten about.  It seems so weird that you walk in to an operating room!  It was freezing and bright.  We talked about jury duty. I had to call Dr. Bolin the day before, on a Sunday even, to get clearance to be treated by an emergency dentist because I broke my tooth clean off.  So they were talking about what the hell, why don't dentists see patients for emergencies?  I said I went to an Immediadent type place and it was fine but expensive and now I had to go see my regular dentist anyway.  Then a nurse said that dentists didn't have to serve on juries, which doesn't seem true, but which annoyed the doctors in the room.  Anyways, we talked about jury duty.  He put the spinal in and I laid down.  I am always asking if Mike can come in yet, on account of they almost FORGOT him when I was having Maria.  He came in and we started.  The anasthesiologist was so nice about telling me what they were doing.  Oh I forgot about my nails!  I had a pedicure and a manicure the week before I had the baby, and I had my nails done in a super dark color - almost black but more purple.  They looked really nice but the anasthesiologist had to take off the polish from my index finger because it was messing up the pulse oxygen thing.  Apparently it looks at the color and it was too dark.  Anyways, the anasthesiologist kept telling me what she was doing, after Mike came in, they started.  I mentioned to Mike that there was no radio and they put it on for me, which was nice.  It took quite a while after they made the incision for her to be born.  I kept hearing a new song (I had a Bad Day, Faith, etc.) and thinking "this is the song that will be on when he or she is born" but then it would switch to a new song.  Apparently, she had meconium and then they were trying to get the head out first but they couldn't *get to it* because there was so much fluid.  My doctor, much like my doctor with Maria, was grunting and groaning like she was working out or something!  Finally she was born and the anasthesiologist said "it's a girl!".  I thought of the lack of circumcision first, as usual.  I could see her - well, I could see them working on her and then I could hear her crying and crying.  She sounded great, I was so happy.  They asked Mike what her name was and he said Felicity and it sounded perfect to me for the first time.  He took pictures of her and showed them to me and then after a while the nurse brought her over.  It is always such a relief to see that face wrapped up in the blanket and hat.  She was beautiful.  We were in recovery for a while, she was grunting and the nurse was worried but the neonatologist kept checking and saying she was fine.  So they gave her to me and we wheeled upstairs. 

I can never remember the first nurse's name, it was maybe Melissa?  She was really nice, she complimented me on not freaking out when Felicity couldn't and wouldn't nurse.  She was SO sleepy and it had been sort of traumatic for her to be born, so I figured she was just tired.  Plus maybe I always secretly hope there will be a reason they CAN'T nurse, ha!  Not really.  Anyways, we put up a picture and everyone said such nice things, I guess maybe I slept a little?  I can't remember what went on.  I just stayed in the bed, I was super itchy and SUPER sweaty, that first night is rough.  Later that night, around 8:00, she latched on and seemed to be nursing okay, so that was great.  I called Mike to tell him because she still wasn't getting it right by the time he left.  

We had some other trouble in the hospital.  She kept being so AWAKE all the time, she never would nurse and drift off and she seemed kind of fussy, to me.  But Mike would take her and rock her and stick his finger in her mouth and out she'd go, really passed out, like a newborn.  So the day before we left, I had Mike call the lactation consultant.  I was LOATHE to do it because one had come in the previous day and she showed me how to SHOOSH her - ha ha!  as if I need lessons in THAT! - and she also pushed my boobs around a lot.  But this one came and realized after a few minutes that Felicity had a 'bubble palette', just a little high, so she wasn't able to latch on.  We got this nursing shield and poof, she nursed - I will never forget it.  I had in her in the football hold, to my right, and she nursed for just a few minutes and then she gave me kind of a dirty look and drifted off.  

--

I never know how to end these, I guess.  Now she is one year old and we are deeply in love with her.  She had all her nursing problems and her ear infection problems, they've all been documented here.  We are just wild about her, all of us - all of the kids love her and I can honestly say I've never had a moment where any of the other kids have said "you're always with Felicity!" or anything like that.  She is only ever in danger of being loved to death by her siblings, ha!  After one year and one day, I can honestly say I don't know where we'd be without her.  She is our good sweet baby and beside the fact that she never naps, she is perfect in every way.